Hello. I’ve gathered you here to present the Robert Pattinson look that made one person on Instagram ask, “Why is he dressed like a Bulgarian granny?”
Look, R. Patz at the Dior Fall-Winter 2023-2024 Paris Fashion Week show. The outfit is from the collection and Robert is a “global ambassador” for the brand. Does this context help? I have no idea.
This look is rich text. Let me start: We’ll start with the fluffy turtleneck jacket/zip combo. Some might say that Rob Pattinson in a brown zipper conjures up images of that meme of him standing in a kitchen in a tracksuit. Not me! This look is way too sophisticated!
Next, we’ve got the tweed skirt — complete with a touch of shin for maximum Victorian-style swoon. I am an unabashed fan of skirts in menswear. That’s why I’m such a standard bitch to Thom Browne, even if it can give me flashbacks to when I had to wear a hideous kilt to school until I was 16.
We finish with black rubber boots and below-the-knee socks. Finally, a look you can wear in the front row of fashion week and when wading in shallow ponds.
What I mean here is that I don’t think the individual pieces of this look are bad – quite the contrary. But everything combined? It’s… powerful, I can give you that.
Sure, he’s Robert Pattinson and could look good in a garbage bag taped together with duct tape. I’d be remiss not to include some of the more artsy shots from the show. The man did Read poetry as part of it, after all!
The haze here makes his skin look dazzling, kind of like… no, I won’t say.
He also posed with other famous people. According to WWD, Eddie Redmayne or Robert joked that the skirt had “a little extra ventilation.” I can’t tell if it was Eddie or Robert who made the joke because the phrasing is wrong or I’m an idiot (the latter is more likely).
But what do I know about fashion? I’m writing this in sweat and an Edward Cullen T-shirt (I wish I was kidding).